Hayden Panattiere has a new movie coming out.

This is Turner and my ten minute conversation about it via-facebook:

Turner: Whos this 'Beth Cooper'?

6:41pm Skyler: Hayden Panattiere's new character in her new film "I love you, Beth Cooper." mmmmm.

6:46pmTurner: Damnit. You would.

6:46pmSkyler: I love her. I'm gonna say it. I love her

6:46pmTurner: Shit dude. No way!

6:47pmSkyler: I know. yes I do, man! that's the thing! I do.

6:47pmTurner: So, What you're trying to say is, you are actually in love with her? Good man. Great man.

6:47pmSkyler: These are facts, my friend. No woman can ever get me to blow my load faster while thinking about them and rubbing my stiffy. Simple facts.

6:48pmTurner: Oh. Not even me?

6:48pmSkyler: You're close, but I love her.

6:49pmTurner: Shit dude. Thats a serious word to throw around like that

6:49pmSkyler: I know. It's a word that I barely even use with my mother.

6:50pmTurner: Dang. You mean business

6:50pmSkyler: A wise man once said that your soulmate will just stumble into your life like a confused little lamb. and that's exactly what she has done.

6:50pmTurner: Hmmmm. It sounds like a Twilight quote to me. Yeah, I'm pretty sure its from Twilight. New Moon to be precise

6:51pmSkyler: Bite your tongue, motherfucker.

My craigslist ad for prom.

Like young, hot ass? - 18 (Camas)

I go to Camas High School and need a smoking hot prom date. It's my senior year and I want to make everyone look like shit. If you're hot enough, there's a crisp 5 dollar bill and a spicy chicken crunchwrap supreme with your name on it.

Must be younger than 21 and willing to sign the dance contract regarding bumping and grinding, but smoking hot sex afterwards will not be frowned upon, in fact, it would be much appreciated.

My name is Skyler and i'm 5'10".

Send pictures to email and await approval. Thank you for your time.

The Angry Whopper.

My friend Turner and I chose to stop by Burger King a few weeks ago. Not "The BK Lounge!!". I'm not Dane Cook. Nor am I a pretentious queer or a college student who thinks that he's remotely funny or has material worth quoting all the damn time.

We went to Burger King and nothing seemed to tickle our fancies besides the Angry Whopper. Due to Burger King's recent ad campaign, the Angry Whopper struck fear into our hungry hearts. We decided to ball up and try it out. The worst thing that could happen was us being sent to the emergency room, and the hospital was right down the street. You only live once, eh?

We high-fived and each took a bite. It was fantastic. There was no pain involved. It was the greatest burger that I have possibly tasted. Especially for under 5 bones.

Mom just brought home a nice angry whopper for me to munch on while I blogged about it. I'd personally like to thank Burger King for creating this fiercely tamed beast and allowing the public and myself to consume it.

Land-dwelling mammals.

I've always had a sort of fascination with the creatures of land. Caribou, Bison, Antelope, Kelly Williams, Siberian Tigers, etc. The animals that I listed could easily hop on a plane to Cancun and enjoy a nice hot summer on Jerry springer, but simply choose to stay on the soil of our beautiful mother earth.

To the mass public, soaring birds and the fish in the sea have always been appealing, simply because they can achieve what humans can't. We somewhat solved the issue of humans not being able to fly with the invention of the airplane. 

Still, creatures like Kelly Williams choose not to soar through the beautiful clouds because they don't want to.

I recently discovered that Mr. Williams doesn't like flying. This leads me to wonder how he hunts Lions in the Kalahari with his friends that he met in the NRA. (Or the NBA. See Kelly Williams Wikipedia.)

Did he build a full-sized model of the Black Pearl with his bare hands and sail it over to the Dark Continent himself?

I guess that's one of the many mysteries of today.

Kelly Williams doesn't fly. He traverses land on his hand-built chopper made of elephant bone, and navigates the endless seas with his very own self-commanded ship.

Somebody write a documentary about this man. asap.

My final day of Web Page design.

Today is a sad day.

My departure from this noble class is drawing near. My departure from Kelly Williams is also drawing near.

I've spent many weeks perfecting this blog in hopes that someone could appreciate it, and in hopes that I would get a sufficient grade because of its seemingly decent quality.

Much to my surprise, my performance wasn't up to snuff. My focus on the trials and tribulations of my senior year apparently just wasn't focused enough.

"You need to write blogs about movie reviews or family vacations."

Riddle me this: Who wants to read blogs about movie reviews? And who would want to look at pictures of me posing in a hunting outfit after taking out a 6 point buck in the rockies? Not anybody that I want to be reading my blogs.

So I settled with writing about things that interest me. Things that people would actually want to read. Because when somebody wants movie reviews, the last place they're going to check is a high school student's blog.

I'll probably keep writing blogs after this class is finished, because I actually care about the things I've written here. I enjoy writing things that people want to read. And I doubt you could say the same about anyone else in this ridiculous class. Because those kids have spent the last month or two writing their thoughts while worrying about being heinously graded by a hairy man in the back of the room. That's not writing, and I can't seem to grasp that concept. But I can guarantee that there's not a single other student that would take the time to write a blog as long as this one, or my previous ones.

This is stuff that matters to me. If you can't seem to appreciate it, so be it. But I couldn't appreciate writing about things that make Kelly Williams give me an "A" on an assignment meant to be based around ourselves and things that matter to us.

That's all I've got.

I mailed a letter to president Obama.

It went a little something like this:

Dear Mr. Obama,

I'm requesting the induction of "National Hayden Panettiere is the Hottest girl on the Face of This Freaking Planet Day". Because she is. Congratulations on the whole president thing. Word up.

-Skyler

*see attached photo*


I got a letter back. It said this:

Dear Skyler,

Aight. January 23rd it is. Holla back.

-Obama


As a senior in high school, I have achieved the induction of a new holiday. God bless America.

Little known facts about Kelly Williams:

I had no idea that my beloved teacher had such a triumphant past. Or that he was from the Philippenes. Who would've known that Mr. Williams was a prolific scorer, as well as a "Dunk Artist"? Not this guy.

I've proudly crowned the nickname "Big Willie Style", but I didn't know that his former nicknames consisted of "K-Will" and "Machine Gun".

I'll be sure to ask him about his fast times at MLK High sometime in the near future.

Take a gander:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kelly_Williams

Senior picture r-r-r-r-remix!

A little goober named Nick decided to have fun with one of my senior pictures. It's rock n' roll Mcdonald's.

The Ultimate High Five.

This is a video of my friend Spencer and I achieving the greatest high five of all time.

Senior Project documentation.

While out on tour, we stopped to do a photoshoot for Truth Custom drums. It was in the middle of the desert and called for the proper attire.

Cowboy boots handle the warm weather very well, while accentuating my legs at the same time. This is just to show the legitimacy of my senior project and the tasks achieve while on my adventure.

This is my friend BJ. He plays guitar in my band, Upon Beauty Rests. He also works at Hot Topic with me. We get along well. Too well? You be the judge.

Re: Senior pictures

Jeah! Here's one.

Worst day ever.

I overcame many many triumphs this past week.

Due to this glorious blog assignment and the ability to add games to ones blog, I've stumbled upon many entertaining pastimes.

Back when I was a child, I owned a Super Nintendo. This consumed my life. I was a gaming machine. I spent my mornings eating toaster pockets and playing Super Mario Bros.

One might say that this class reincarnated my childhood. It allowed me to reminisce about those saturday mornings after scooby-doo was over.

I sat on this computer and dominated the koopa population with my use of jumping technique and fireballs. My passion hindered my ability to live in the real world for this period. This was enjoyable.

For this entire week, all I've cared about was getting to Bowser. And you know what? I did that yesterday. It was a shining moment in my life.

Then a giant, poopy bombshell was dropped on me. It's called the vision client. I noticed the little "vision client" bubble pop up at the bottom of my screen, but was blinded by the glory of
Super freaking Mario.

Right after I entered the realm of Bowser for the first time, my mouse and keyboard stopped working. I figured, "hey, maybe I just have horrible horrible luck and the computer froze."

That definitely wasn't the case. I had a feeling that the brilliant Kelly Williams had an eye on me. For some reason, I didn't mind. I know that the reason he hadn't busted me previously that week is because he was sucked in by the majestic ways of my mario gameplay.

My game was frozen for a minute or two, and I suddenly hear a smooth voice from the back of the classroom.

"Boo boo boo, I've decided that games are no longer allowed on your blogs. Some sexy students with nice butts have been taking advantage of this feature and I've decided to put an end to it."

I knew I was a target. And I thought to myself, "You know what? Williams obviously took notice to my pink underwear. Seeing as he was checking out my butt. Again. And because I have pink underwear, I'm not going to let this get me down. I'm going to further my friendship with this majestic beast."

And thanks to that, I'm well on my way. I love you, Kelly Williams.

Today was a day of revelation.

I'm a lover, not a fighter.

When it comes to school, I'm a fairly reserved fella. I know that Mr. Williams enjoys looking at the back of my head. Today he decided to get smart with me and tell me to sit down, so what do I do?

Confess my love for him.

"You look much like a beautiful flower today, Mr. Williams."

Now, I know that our relationship has had a slow start, but this really sealed the deal for me.

It's strange to know that the semester is coming to a close, which represents my soon absence from this glorious, computer-filled room. But I know that every time I stumble across a beautiful flower, I'll think of Mr. Williams' shining face looking at his computer and mumbling sweet nothings about bitmaps and javascript.

The Genius Returns.

The sparkling sunshine of my life sitting to my left.

No, not you, Mr. Williams. You're to my rear left. I've been situated here so you can look at my fanny on a daily basis. Yes?

Anyway.
My good friend Stephanie Kristen Heil

has spelled yet another word with impeccable accuracy.

I saw on her recent independent P.E. worksheet that she enjoys running, swimming, and "bicicling".

Ya know, like icicling. With a "B" in front of it.

Great girl.

Snow for sho!

Thanks to the glorious snow, we missed an extra week of school.

That's three weeks total. A lot.

There were a bunch of assignments due on the friday before break, but got pushed back to whenever school was in session again.

My new years resolution was to actually get my work done, so of course I proctrastinated and waited to do my assignments last night.

I was up until 2:30 this morning writing about global warming. Ironic? yes.

So I get to school, very excited to turn in my work, and Mr. Linthwaite decides that he'll make it due tomorrow instead. What kind of a joke is that?

Needless to say, I have a free night tonight. Because I'm a good kid who did his work.

Senior pictures.

On Sunday I took senior pictures. The lady was pretty nice. Her name was Julie. I just got them back and they look pretty freakin' sweet. They're on my myspace.com page. Take a gander.

Snow?

I like snow. Snow is cold. Snow takes the worries of school away from my mind. The only reason that I would want to go to school during next week is so I can see Mr. Williams and fuel his day with holiday cheer. I have no other purpose in this world.

Finally.

My band has been recording some demos for our new songs with our friend Dan McCall. I recorded the drums a long time ago. Last night we finally finished recording the guitars for one of the songs, so things are coming together. I'll try to post a link to it on here. We'll see.

Why I skipped yesterday.

Last week I was fairly sick. I woke up hating life every morning. I took a nap in Mrs. Voght's office every day during lunch. It was a miserable existence. This weekend, I just hung out and didn't really do much. So I woke up on monday and decided, "Hey. I don't feel like standing up today." So I didn't.

Awesome, right?

I went to the doctor. He had pinstriped pants and a shirt from the 70s. He was a nice guy. I have a virus. I need to take some sudafed.

Stuff the bus?

This week, the school has been collecting cans for charity. What has been their motivation? Washougal is also collecting cans. Whoever can put more Canned stuff in their bus wins. It's supposed to be televised and crap. Z100 will also be there. (That's a popular radio station, for those who aren't hip and with it.)

The majority of the student body is scared of being beaten out by washougal. "Because they're dirty dogs" says Stephanie Kristen Heil of Camas High School.

Anywho, it's a well-known fact that we don't know the first thing about canned food. We spent money on t-shirts to promote the contest rather than using that money for the contest itself. That's just a taste of how stupid the student body really is.

It's a given that the Washougal students will load their pickups up with canned cream corn that they use their food stamps to acquire. Good for them. I don't see us winning. Our priorities are in the wrong place. And frankly, I couldn't care less. Z100 will be able to broadcast our stupidity and I'm thrilled.

Edit: Okay, so we won stuff the bus. The cans will go to washougal anyway. Big deal. Eat it.