Thursday, April 30, 2009

I've gotten lazy.

I know that I've been flaking on the whole blogspot thing. I haven't forgot about you, Blogsauce. Don't fret. I'm taking another one of my myspace blogs and copying and pasting. I'm sorry that this is what it has come to. This is my current events assignment from last week. I might write another tonight.

Skyler Mann

Current event Journal

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colorado — Police in Colorado say a pregnant woman suffered minor injuries when she was struck by a slow-moving car while fleeing from an adult black bear.

Police say they're looking for the driver of the car that hit 26-year-old Ashley Swendsen on Thursday in Colorado Springs, The Gazette reports. Memorial Hospital spokeswoman Terri Reishus says Swendsen, who is about five months pregnant, is in good condition.

Michael Seraphin of the state Division of Wildlife says the bear was later euthanized after Swendsen identified it.

Police say the motorist who hit Swendsen stopped and spoke to her but left before authorities arrived.

The wildlife agency says the incident occurred in an area where bears are common.

At first, I thought that this was a joke. I figured that using an article on this rather than something about the bad economy would make the assignment more enjoyable. Just about every aspect of this story made me laugh out loud.

First off, we’ve got the visual of a waddling pregnant woman that somehow angered a black bear. Secondly, the picture in the article shows the bear, and it’s not even black. So god knows where abc news got that picture. This is the part of me that still believes that this story is a joke. Now let’s visualize this woman getting chased by a quickly moving bear, but running in front of a slowly moving car. Why was this car slowly moving? Was the driver as entertained as I am by the image of a black bear in pursuit of a pregnant woman? We’ll never be sure, because the driver didn’t even stick around! At least he was kind enough to “Stop and speak to her” before leaving. I can only imagine what he had to say.

“Excuse me, ma’am, is that a bear you’re running from? I’m sorry to have slowed you down. Maybe you should check to see if your baby is still intact before I continue slowly driving in the middle of the woods.”

Now let’s move on to the part where the Division of Wildlife steps in. Supposedly the bear was knocked out after the frightened young woman identified it.

“Ma’am, is that the bear?”

“Yes…yes, I believe so.”

“The black bear?”

“No, that one.”

“So the black bear.”

“No, the one right there.”

“Ma’am, that’s a black bear.”

“But it’s not black.”

The conversation that ensued prior to the euthanization was probably either very brief, or very drawn out like the one above, depending on the state of the bear.

In regards to the initial run-in with the car, did the bear stop chasing her after she got hit? I wonder if the bear stopped to think to itself,

“Aw man. This has really gotten out of hand. She didn’t even see that coming. Maybe I should hang out here for awhile to make sure she gets the proper medical assistance. Seeing as the guy in the car is already gone. I doubt he’s far away anyhow. That poor woman is so top heavy. I wonder how long she plans on laying there…is that a truck on the horizon? They’re here to save her! I wonder what they’re talking about. Sweet dart gun, bro. Wait a minute! I see what you’re doing here! You rascal!”

Needless to say, this article completed me, and I wouldn’t allow for it to go unnoticed.